We paid fees last week. Who knew you had to buy a water meter? Sure, they’re attached to almost every house in the U.S. – but did you ever think about who shelled out the cash to put ‘em there? Now we know.

Here’s a partial list of fees to pay before building permits are granted:

Water Impact Fee – $840

Sewer Impact Fee – $665

Water Meter – $176

Roadway Impact Fee – $670

Parks Linear Development – $536

Parks Neighborhood Development – $643

At a cost of $1179, it’s guaranteed that I will wear a linear path between the house and the closest neighborhood park.

The title to this post is a little misleading (and possibly a teeny bit overdramatic). My sanity hasn’t really started eroding – at least not yet. Check back in six months and I might tell you another story. But I’m not one to miss a chance at clever (and possibly a teeny bit overdramatic) wordplay.

Here’s where things stand: We must provide more environmental impact studies before the city will issue building permits. Specifically, they’ve requested erosion control drawings from the architect. He says this is a typical request for commercial projects that are larger than one acre. We are not a commercial property on a large expanse of land, but apparently we are special. Hooray.

Now I’m looking more closely at our neighboring lots. I’m hopeful the house across the street had to go through this erosion control exercise too.